In our latest Growth HotSeat session, we confronted a startling scientific reality that challenges how highly experienced leaders operate. We frequently navigate our business days under the assumption that our eyes and ears provide an accurate, objective feed of the world around us. We believe that the difficult client, the struggling team member, or the complex market shift we are looking at is exactly as it appears. However, our discussion highlighted that relying on this biological feed to dictate our internal state keeps us reacting to an illusion of our own making.
The conversation opened by dissecting the neuroscience of perception. Science demonstrates that we process an incredibly narrow slice of reality. In fact, within the visual cortex, the brain sends ten times more information downward as predictions than it receives upward as incoming sensory data. This means that a vast majority of what we see is simply the brain talking to itself, constructing a simulation based on our past experiences and established beliefs. Our intuition, which provides the high-level clarity that supports us to run a company effectively, is frequently drowned out by this noisy, projected feed.
One Member, who operates as a professional artist and former financial planner, illustrated this dynamic perfectly. He has been observing a prolonged, two-year legal dispute where the two opposing parties completely despise one another. Both sides assume the other is a narcissist and refuse to communicate directly. The group, supported by insights from a Member who specialises in commercial litigation, unpacked the cognitive illusion hidden within this conflict. The people involved believe they are reacting to objective truth. In reality, they are letting false evidence appearing real validate their internal fears.
We discovered a powerful metaphor to explain this dynamic: we are the projector, and the people we interact with are simply actors on the screen. If we dislike the movie that is playing, we do not walk up to the wall and try to cut the screen to pieces. Instead, we must refocus the projector and change the film. When we feel frustrated or triggered by an external event, it is a clear signal that our interpretation is flawed. To step off this cycle, we must realise that peace is not found by forcefully rearranging the people in our business; it is found by doing the innerwork and letting go of outdated beliefs.
This theme of shifting our internal projection extended deeply into the topic of business succession. Another Member, who successfully rebuilt an electrical training company after losing his previous business during the global financial crisis, shared his current transition strategy. He is actively stepping back to let his son run the operation. Rather than projecting his own advanced knowledge onto his team and micromanaging their choices, he is learning to run the company on remote control. By intentionally staying silent during meetings, he forces his managers to ask their own questions and develop their own problem-solving skills.
A new Member, running a large commercial plumbing and electrical enterprise, resonated strongly with this challenge of letting go. Having built a team of sixty employees, he is currently weighing a buyout offer from a private equity firm. He honestly admitted his fear of stepping away, noting his tendency to live constantly in the future and push for the next big win. He shared the story of a close friend who recently sold a business for a life-changing sum, only to find himself completely lost and divorced shortly after. The group discussed how chasing an external exit without having a grounded internal baseline frequently leads to a loss of identity.
The discussion then shifted to how stepping back actually supports better external results. A tech founder shared his recent journey of navigating complex health challenges with his wife. He realised that his normal response to stress was an addiction to pushing harder and overworking. By leaning heavily into his meditation practice and completely dropping his self-criticism, he created the space to step back from the daily grind. By trusting his team to leverage their own unique skills, his company surprisingly achieved its highest revenue month on record.
We learned that navigating the complex reality of running our companies supports us in embracing a new level of self-awareness. Instead of trusting the frustrating visual evidence our brain projects, we can actively choose to pause and consult our internal knowing. This does not mean we ignore the mechanical reality of running a business; it means we maintain a consistent state of clarity before we make a decision. By continually letting go of our perceived problems and trusting our intuition to guide us, we strip away the unnecessary friction of leadership.
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” – Carl Jung
